great things.

"Great things are not accidental but they certainly must be willed."

- van Gogh

painT drunk.

i showed my mom these photos and asked what she thought. she said i looked like a monster. perfect. that's exactly what i'm becoming. i love you ma. this was an experiment for the movie. there is a scene in painT where vinny attempts to poison himself by drinking paint while he's in the asylum. it comes from a true moment in van Gogh's life. i went to my favorite B&W photobooth in NYC at the ACE Hotel on 29th st. I highly recommend all of you to go there and see what you look like in old time splendor. I carried my bag of three colors with me and this group of 2 girls and a guy, M & M & M, saw me pass the booth 3 times. One of the girls said, you really should go try it, it seems like you really want to! She could tell that I was itching to just go in there and go wild. I went in and came out with a mouth full of paint. They loved it. Moneer and her friends are from Wash. DC and were down in the city for a couple days. I told them all about painT and that i am an actor/writer/artist, they knew J2K and ZGames. I laughed, they laughed. this feels good when you meet strangers with the greatest smiles and curiosity for adventure. M told me that van Gogh's letters had been at the MORGAN Library & Musuem. i was happy to smile in a time of nutso. happy to be thinking about what painT will taste like on the day. after it's all said and done i shoulda brought a tooth brush. but the way the day tasted to me was like nothing i ever had.

thanks for the boost into the machine m&m&m.

go love NY to the marrow. bite into it.

g

self portrait with a bandaged heart, ACE Hotel, NYC.

self portrait with a bandaged ear, van Gogh 1889,

Courtauld Institute Galleries, London.

"i will keep this object carefully.", rachel says to vinny.

self portrait with a bandaged heart , siff, 2009

buy the ticket.

When my father passed in 2007 an arrow shot into my head that said, Stop waiting. Do the things you want to do. DO THEM NOW. Through my love I met an interesting individual over the computer who's artwork and poetry found a way into my blood. We had written letters, shared art, poems for over a year and at that point I knew I always wanted shake his hand in person. I said EFF it. I'm going to LONDON. Bought the ticket and stayed with one of the coolest people I ever met in my life. You ever meet someone that just bounces on the wind and you just honor in awe the way they live their life, like living is an art form? For me it was DAVID SHILLINGLAW, a free artist and free spirit. I had the pleasure of living with him and his bro Robs in their false-teeth factory art gallery club house calledNOWHERE NORTH. There I painted with David and learned about stencils, found objects, drinking strong coffee, smoking cigarettes in night clubs under tunnels and drinking real old absinthe, an ode to the green fairy that Vincent indulged in with Paul Gauguin. I mentioned the drink to him and David was like, "Oh yea man, I think I got some of that shite right here!" Dusted off the bottle, We had two shots and hit the tube train to london and that was the fastest 1 hour train ride ever. David told the story that absinthe back in the old days was made with "wormwood" real worms and if you drank enough of the stuff it would make your ears go deaf and ring. Such is the case with van Gogh who drank much of so much of the "green fairy" that in a mad rage one night he cut off the lobe of his ear. There is a lot more to that story, Paul Gauguin. David also subscribed to the philosophy of DO IT NOW and suggested I see more than just London when I was this close. I took a train to Paris and spent the night with strangers drinking champagne and dancing till morning. I also flew to Amsterdam, met up with a great friend from Dublin, Keith who is a collector of of my paintings. We walked up and down red light drew on marshmallos, drank chocolate drink and guinness and photographed every light bulb that streaked. Amsterdam is where I got see The van Gogh musuem, the ultimate collection of his work. I showed up with not a piece of food in my stomach and spent the day there. At the end i had a meal of chocolate bars. Below are some drawings I did in front of the canvases, skull and gauguin. They did not allow photography but I was able to snap one shot. I had an experience of catching up with my father, just days after he passed away. This happened in the form of a butterfly on Rockaway Beach. A neighbor complimented my physique and I said, "Oh this, my dad this!" punching my stomach hard, as soon as I said those words a butterfly flew down and attached himself to my stomach. It stayed there for at least 4 minutes. When the conversation ended he crawled onto my hand, sat on my pointer and middle finger and then flew towards our house. My Mom and our neighbor Regina was witness to this. From then on, the butterfly became the guide for me in this game of chutes and latters we call life. Actually make the game CandyLand. As I went through the tremendous amount of work at the musuem I saw a painting of a butterfly that I never even knew of. The path is lined with love. I cannot imagine myself without this trip. I can say that life so far is so up to you. You can buy the ticket or you can wait till it's over. I say BUY THE TICKET. Bro I'll see you when I get there.

this modern love.

"One may have a blazing hearth in one’s soul and yet no one ever comes to sit by it. Passerby see only a wisp of smoke rising from the chimney and continue on their way."- Vincent van Gogh

power in the painT.

I like to ask the different people i meet, strangers, persons with cigarettes, friends, human beings, what do you know about van Gogh? who is he? have you ever seen one of his paintings in real life? most of the time I hear that he was crazy and he cut his ear off. other times i hear stories like this. Laura, my good friend from work is an elegantly poised beauty who visited the van Gogh musuem in Amsterdam. She explained that she had never seen anyone have a reaction like this to any other form quite like it in her life. Not a song, not a movie, not a live performance. "There was this pleasant man with his eyes shut, just standing in front of van Gogh's painting of the Sunflowers like the sun was actually shining on him at that moment. Like he was being warmed by it. It was like his soul was free. It was this grand appreciation like he was honored to be there in front of this piece of work. It was really something to see." i just watched her lips tell this story and almost cried. People mesmorize me.

van gogh's sunflowers here in amsterdam at the van Gogh museum.

the three colors.

it is all in your mind.

day one.

i wrote a movie called painT 3 years ago. I put it away and forgot all about it. i wrote it because i felt a connection with another artists decision to go forward with a life in the arts. this artist is Vincent van Gogh. a life in the arts is the most wonderful for me. i have been an actor for more than half my life and found painting along the way. Through the rejection I felt as an actor in the span of 20 years it must have been over ten thousand "no's" to hear "YES" a few great times. I began to read all I could find about van Gogh and his story. I couldn't believe that someone with such passion could be ignored for so long. The suffering he went through physically and mentally in order to create to the full capacity that his being could withstand is remarkable. We do what we do as a way to breathe. He painted for 8 years and only sold one painting, according to the books. His talent and grace were never fully realized until after his death. I began writing a modern day tale that would blend the life of this artist with the life I am living. The product is a movie that I am going to use all my facilities and heart in order to make this dream a truth. i finished a Sam Shepard play at Underground St. Marks and down the block from the theater was the DE LA VEGA Museum. In between rehearsals I would walk into this cove of poetry and heartlift. This was no accident but a reminder from artist De La Vega that "suffering has taught nothing but great lessons." and now is the time to BECOME YOUR DREAM. Thank you for the inspiration and here it is just as you asked, painT the recorded journey of making a movie with nothing more than a heart, a dream, and faith. BIG FAITH. ever yours, greg